Friday, January 09, 2015

Spring?

The mist is lifting slowly
I can see the way ahead
And I've left behind the empty streets
That once inspired my life
And the strength of the emotion
Is like thunder in the air

(Justin Hayward) 
I've been in a bit of a funk lately. A lot of it has to do with the tightness of the bills and the tiredness of the season. I know that it will pass and the weight will lift somewhat. For a little while I tried to brush this all aside, then realized that I needed to acknowledge the "down-ness" and work through it without avoiding it. That seems to be helping and I am starting to feel a little better.

Random thoughts
It took a little time before I realized that part of my mood has to do with things that happened close to a year ago and the ending of things. It's not that I want to go back and make a different choice, since I see now just how tiny I had become. It's just that there are some old hurts trying to rise to the surface. And so, I'm sitting in the sunshine every chance I get, I am listening to uplifting music each day, and I'm treating myself with as much love and patience as I would to a friend. I know this will pass.

I am certainly looking forward to Spring and all that comes with it. Even with the upcoming emptiness of the house and such I know that the longer days and warmer weather will help a lot. I will be able to plant more seeds and tend to the ones from last year. I'll be able to take a few walks along the Blue Ridge Parkway and listen to the world around me.

Even though I'm back into that cycle of needing a daily nap right now I recognize what I'm doing to cause that and I'm working on it. I just need to scale back a little on what I am doing each day. Organizing my time has never been as important as it is now. If I am not careful I will end up back where I was a year ago and I simply cannot afford that. And so, I am limiting my time of doing things that aren't really necessary. Like stressing over things that are unchangeable.

I truly hope you all have a very good weekend.

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