Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Beginnings and clutter

As I finished up my Solstice day in relative quiet (I did shout aloud about my first sale on The Raven's Cauldron) and solitude, I began cleaning out old notebooks that I hadn't opened since I left Ohio. It was strange to see someone else's handwriting again after all this time, it was stranger still to realize that I didn't feel a need to read what he'd written. Instead, I tore all the pages from the wire coils and put them into the recycling bin. I didn't feel sorrow or anger or any other negative emotion, just a sense of accomplishment for having clean notebooks. What a wonderful feeling of fresh beginnings.

I did find some important pages tucked in all the notes and such, though. One was the write-up for a sweater I had designed and would like very much to work out various sizes. Another was the beginning of a story that still fills me with anticipation at seeing how it will turn out. That just might be the story for next year's NaNoWriMo. I'll need to do a little research about getting permission to use lyrics in it, but that can wait until the holiday season is over. I also came across a letter from Anthony that he wrote just before The Crucible. How my heart jumped when I read the words of my first born as he was preparing to get through something I couldn't even imagine.

This morning it is rainy and bleak outside, and I have friends who are feeling heartache during this season of festivities. My thoughts and prayers go out to them all and to the ones I don't know. Those who will be spending time with family that doesn't accept them. Those who are out of the country and will be lucky to be able to call home. Those who are missing the ones far away. Those with lost loved ones. Those without a home. My heart goes out to them all. I truly wish I could reach out to them all and let them know that they are special.

This morning I think about how lucky I truly am. My son is in another state but we talk a couple times a week. My daughter is leaving in a couple months, but I'll be sending her letters weekly or more. My Dad is far from me, but he is well and we talk once or twice a week. I have friends who celebrate my successes and cheer me on. I may not have all the wealth and acquaintances that some people have, but I have so much abundance and love and that really is all that matters.

To those who are feeling strain, I send you prayers. To those who have abundance, I send you prayers, too.


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