Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Longer nights

As we draw nearer to Midwinter, I can't help but think about all the preparations I still need to take care of. The holiday on Friday will find me alone for the evening with candles lit and various books and lesson plans ready to go. I will also be staying away from most media. My phone will remain on, but only so that I can be reached if Brianna should need me. And I will sit in silence. I feel as if I'm about to let go of something even though I'm currently reaching for something. Perhaps I'm letting go of what has been holding me back and reaching for the potential I have.

We bought fabric last weekend and I spent some time washing & ironing it all while the yarn absorbed colors. At one point the dyeing, ironing, embroidering, and dreaming all ran together and I laughed at the thought of how this would all work once I'm on my own and in a smaller space. I will have to find some organization to the chaotic creativity. Perhaps that will be easier to do once I'm on the road. I guess I'll figure that out later. For now I am happily crafting away at the items for the new shop. Candles are being rolled, embroidery is being stitched, and "plushies" are being plushed. I look forward to announcing the opening.

In the meantime, my sweet girl will be heading to MEPS on Monday. I'm cool with it most of the time, but I do have moments when I feel a huge empty space inside. That's not quite right... it's more of a space inside preparing to be empty. As if it's not quite time (which it isn't, since she won't be leaving until May), but my heart is getting ready for those moments when the house is still and quiet and my youngest child is nearly 300 miles away, doing things that I can't imagine going through myself. Things that my oldest child put himself through, too.

With all the bold colors and crisp days lately, it's hard to feel very sad about most of this. Instead, I look around at the amazingly blue sky and the brilliant leaves, I listen to the birds and the rain, I cherish all the little moments and dazzling dreams. These are the days that memories stem from.

May you all have a blessed day!


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