Sunday, October 26, 2014

Elements # 15

Start competing against an earlier version of yourself. Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others, bit know that competing against them is a waste of time. You are in competition with one person and one person only - yourself. You are competing to be the best you can be. Aim to break your own personal records.

I thought about this one quite a bit. When I look at earlier versions of myself I see someone who was openly accepting of so much, who was financially stable, who was building up for the rainy days and still able to splurge on things for the kids, who was sure of herself and how she felt about the people in her life. Another earlier version, however, was someone who constantly second-guessed every thought, who walked on eggshells all the time, who hesitated to show affection, who stopped singing and dancing.

And yet... both of these versions of myself were important to help me grow to where I am now. While I'm far from that self-assured and confident young woman, I'm also far from that cautious and uncertain older woman. Both remain inside me, but not fully Me. I know that might not make sense to many, but the version of myself that is currently coming forward is much stronger than any other time in my life.

While I don't have a huge well of wisdom to pull this post from, I do have a fairly clear view of my near future. Between the new shop, the new goals, and the upcoming new living situation, blended with the current shop, the current goals, and the joy of still having a few months with my daughter, I think that my life is going well. The earlier versions of myself wouldn't have seen the amazing joy in each moment I currently have. They wouldn't have been grateful for each day that I wake up and am smiling because it's one more day that I don't need surgery or medical attention.

Is that competing with the earlier versions of myself? I don't know, but I am looking forward to getting to know my current Self and creating my futer.

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