Monday, August 25, 2014

Elements #7

Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. Mistakes are okay; they are the stepping stones of progress. If you're not failing from time to time, you're not trying hard enough and you're not learning. Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again. Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing, and improving. Significant achievements are almost invariably  realized at the end of a long road of failures. One of the "mistakes" you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet. 

I'm one of those people who try to see "mistakes" as lessons in life. Relationships, choices, money spent unwisely, these are all things I've done and can be seen as mistakes. They can also be seen as lessons in life. But I don't believe these are the kinds of mistakes I'll delve into. Instead I'll touch on  the ones that really hit something important.

I never took the time to mourn some of the people I have lost. My father (Bob), my grandparents, and many others who are not blood related, but were still important to me. October 13, 2003. October 1, 2004. November 3, 2007. February 11, 2010. April 24, 2012. August 11, 2014. All of these are the ones I never took the time to reflect on. Never took the moments to cry over. I only attended one funeral in this list and I spent more time during that month scraping to pay the bills than grieving over the loss of someone special. A lesson to be learned in this is that it's important to take the time, even if you are far away, to sit in silence, to remember the kindnesses, to smile about the laughter. It is traditional to take a day of remembrance on October 31. Generally it is for the ones who have passed away during the previous year, but I think this year I will take that time for all who are gone.

I threw love away with both hands. There was a person, I'll call her "Briar" who loved me through a time that was pretty crappy for me and I let her go. When a previous love came back into my life, I turned toward them and left "Briar" standing alone with no one beside her. In the years that followed I kept thinking that I'd made the right choice and perhaps that was why I tried so hard to make it work with the other person, but looking back now... it looks like a humongous mistake. We didn't work out. There were tensions and tears and heartaches and headaches. In the end there were lies and leaving. Perhaps I'd have had these things with "Briar", too, but I will never know. Lesson? Perhaps it's as simple as not letting the past come back into your life. Perhaps it's just to stop and think before you do something as rash as breaking another person's heart. I'm not really sure.

I put my dreams on a shelf and didn't pull them down again to dust them off. I ended up so wrapped in trying to keep the bills paid, trying to keep a relationship stable, and trying to raise my kids, that I forgot about my dreams of being a healer. The few times I stepped toward that shelf (Reiki classes, Crystal Healing classes), something happened (or was said) that would make me feel that my dreams weren't worth the energy I wanted to put into them. Lesson? Even if you only keep the tiniest of sparks of your dreams, tend them carefully and never let them go dark. Whisper to them so that they know that you are still wanting them in your life. Feed them, even if it's with only the smallest crumbs of your life. Don't let your dreams die.

I have several other thoughts going through my head about the mistakes I've made, but I can't put them on here for the whole world to see.

I am far from over making mistakes. In fact I'm currently planning one that might be a huge mistake but I won't know that for several years. Dream big, make the possible mistake, and hold yourself high and dream a little more.

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