Tuesday, July 01, 2014

Surprised, yet not...

Yesterday afternoon Brianna & I walked into a recruiting office. I am still not certain of all my feelings about this. I know the risks (including the risks that only the women deal with) and I know the benefits. I know that she will come out of boot camp changed in ways that cannot be described. And I know that the core of her will always be the same. I know that I will lay awake many nights fearing for her emotional status. I know that I will cry some days with no apparent reason. And I know that I will be so very proud of all that she does.

She had to do a flexed arm hang while we were there. The minimum for women was 15 seconds. She did 20. She answered all the questions with honesty and thoughtfulness. She knows (as much as any potential Marine knows) what she's getting herself into.

Me? I know what I'm getting into. After all, I went through something similar a few years ago. The excitement and worry while she's a poolee, the fear that something will delay her entry, the tears I will cry when I get that call that she's arrived at Parris Island... I know about all of this.

And now? Now I will continue my summer as we had planned. Movies, relaxing, going out to dinner occasionally, our 5k walks every few days, cherishing the moments and storing them up for future smiles.

And yet... my daughter just made a decision that is the kind of decision an adult makes. She's been doing this a lot lately. Choosing the form of birth control that is right for her after reading all the side effects of them all; choosing to push herself a bit to graduate high school earlier; ending a relationship that was sapping away her Self; and so many other things that I can look at and say, "A grown-up person made that decision, not a child."

Regardless of what happens over the next nine months (six months until school is done, another 3 months in boot camp), I am so very proud of Brianna. And I continue to be proud of Anthony for his choices. I am truly blessed with awesome kids.

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