I think about the Dads I've known throughout my life and how they influenced me. I had one growing up and another as an adult. I've had a father-in-law and a man who called me his daughter-in-law. I've seen the bright smiles of new dads and I've witnessed the failings of those who walked away. As for the ones who failed... suffice it to say that I see the suffering of the children they walked away from while complaining that they don't have time or money or whatever to spend time with the children they helped create. A phone call doesn't take that much time, a birthday card doesn't cost that much to send, and the sincere apology for your absence only needs the sound of truth. At the same time, I also see the strength and grace of the children who are determined to be great even without their fathers. And that gives me hope even as I hear the anger and pain from my own son.
I think I am pretty lucky to have had some important men in my life and I truly wish that I'd made better choices so that my own children could have had that, too. The one who had a part of my childhood helped to shape who I became and how I treat my own children.
On the working front, I've been given more and more responsibilities at the second job. There has been talk of promotion soon. I'm hopeful and, at the same time, not as surprised as I once might have been. I can handle a full workload and still meet most deadlines and my work is accurate. We'll see how things go.
On the personal front, there are still a lot of dreams through the night. Most of them leave me feeling as if I've been pulled through a wringer while others require a strong effort to not feel soiled or tainted. Blessed is the night when I remember nothing upon waking. I know that there will be more of the good nights as time passes and I am looking forward to the day when the bad nights are a rarity instead of the other way around.
Now it's time to get back to the things I need to do. I hope you all have a great day filled with sunshine and blessings.