Thursday, April 19, 2012

Thoughts...

Illume

How is it that a person can cry about someone they have never met, never talked with on the phone, and only have shared a smattering of emails?

That is where I am right now. A woman I would call a friend has been going through some major crap and my heart breaks for her struggle and for her pain. There is no cure, only ways to help battle the pain, nausea, fatigue, discomfort, and everything else that has become a part of her daily life.

For a brief moment I felt guilty at my good fortune. I am strong, healthy, and my life is filled with many blessings. I'm getting stronger daily. My body is getting healthier daily. I believe that I will walk the path on the Tor one day. And I felt guilty.

I think I know that she would shake her head at that and tell me not to. And that also makes me want to cry. I believe she's happy for me. For all the good things happening in my life. For all the progress I've shared with her in this short time we've known each other. For my happiness. And, even though I am in tears over this, I know that she would be disappointed in me, such as our friendship is, if I stopped living my life to my best ability.

~

I had to stop for a bit since this wasn't going how I'd planned when I sat down. The plan was to write about my sacred spaces and how I create them. I'll save that for tomorrow.

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